i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
