did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
