remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
