dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
