I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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