did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
