So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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