READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
