Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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