i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
