Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
