Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
