as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
