I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
