I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
