addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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