The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
