I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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