I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
