today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
