I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
