i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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