I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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