all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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