sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
