I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
