I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
