She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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