she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Randomize
