If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
