Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
