what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
