Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Never underestimate the power of titties
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
