Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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