you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I deserve this hangover.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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