ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
