We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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