It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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