grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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