i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
