dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
