This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
