She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
