if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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