I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
