he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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