oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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