There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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