Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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