He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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