...so i touched it.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
