I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
