Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
this will be a night to untag.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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