There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
